Although Tantra has long been practiced in many eastern cultures, it is just beginning to flourish in the United States. Born in India more than 6,000 years ago, Tantra emerged as a rebellion against organized religion, which held that sexuality should be rejected in order to reach enlightenment.

Tantra challenged the acetic beliefs of that time, purporting that sexuality was a doorway to the divine, and that earthly pleasures, such as eating, dancing and creative expression were sacred acts.

The word Tantra means “to manifest, to expand, to show and to weave.” In this context, sex is thought to expand consciousness and to weave together the polarities of male (represented by the Hindu god, Shiva), and female (embodied by the Hindu goddess, Shakti), into a harmonious whole.

Tantric sex is meditative, spontaneous and intimate lovemaking Through it you learn to prolong the act of making love and to channel, rather than dissipate. potent orgasmic energies moving through you, thereby raising the level of your consciousness. Tantra transports your sexuality from the plane of doing to the place of being. There is no goal in Tantric sex, only the present moment of perfect and harmonious union. Tantra teaches you to revere your sexual partner and to transform the act of sex into a sacrament of love.

Tantra teaches that lovemaking between a man and woman, when entered into with awareness, is a gateway to both sexual and spiritual ecstasy. In India, traditional Tantrikas spent many years under the guidance of a spiritual teacher and engaged in elaborate yogic rituals to purify and master the body and mind. These practices were intended to awaken the powerful psychic energies through which the adept could enter into higher states of consciousness When a disciple was deemed ready he or she partook in sexual rites with a partner.

Through the sacred act of love, they sought to merge the dual nature of their sexuality into an ecstatic union. Through this came the harmonization of their own internal masculine and feminine polarities and a realization of the blissful nature of the Self.

The real power of tantra

In the West, we sometimes view sex as a source of recreation rather than a means of transformation. The goal may be to reach orgasm rather than to pleasure our lover or to connect with him or her more fully.
This kind of lovemaking, say sex experts, has a distinct beginning and ending, with a climax somewhere in between and an average duration of 10 to 15 minutes. Given that women can take about 20 minutes just to reach full arousal, this type of sexual experience can be deeply unsatisfying.

In the Tantric model, the sexual experience is seen as a dance with no beginning or end. There is no goal, only the present moment of exquisite union. For this reason, lovemaking is meditative, expressive and intimate. Tantra teaches lovers how to extend the peak of their sexual ecstasy so that women and men can experience several orgasms in a single sexual encounter.

Leading teachers of Tantra suggest that even men who experience premature ejaculation can learn how to extend orgasm, and, with practice, to enjoy multiple orgasms. One of the most well known advocates of Tantra is the musician, Sting, who credits his fulfilling sex life to this ancient art. With ingredients such as love, trust and mutual respect, the magic of Tantra is available to couples of all ages and levels of sexual experience.

 

Beginning Tantric Sex Techniques

The following exercises will help you reconnect with your body and with your partner in a profound way. As you move through these steps, do not focus on intercourse as the ultimate goal. Instead, simply enjoy giving and receiving pleasure using gentle touch and loving words.

Communicate with your lover to discover what he or she finds most arousing. Try to spend several weeks practicing the Tantric Intimacy Exercises without necessarily engaging in intercourse. For many, experiencing these erotic exercises with no pressure to “go all the way” helps release sexual guilt, builds trust and reawakens sexual desire. Enjoy!

Tantric Sex — Saying hello to Love

  • Make time for each other every week. Plan a sexual rendezvous at least once per week. Set aside an hour or more of uninterrupted time to be together. Although it may be difficult to find the time or to manage children, you won’t be able to benefit from Tantra if your relationship is not a priority.
  • Create an inviting atmosphere. Whether you meet in your bedroom, living room or another space in your house, creating a sacred space for each other will help relax you and bring you into the moment. Candles, fresh flowers, erotic art, finger foods and tantalizing aromas can transform any room into a temple of sexual delight. Even something as simple as dimming the lights and playing erotic music will help create a welcoming environment.
  • Dress provocatively. Or, wear nothing at all. Experiment with clothing or accessories that make you feel sexy and excite your partner.

Movin On, Tantric Intimacy Exercises

 

  • Use ritual to develop intimacy. Begin your journey with a ritual. This may be something as simple as feeding each other delicious foods or sharing a glass of wine in the nude. Some couples enjoy bathing together in order to attune to each other.
  • Take time to wash each other with loving care. Water relaxes the body and is a symbol of sexuality. Massaging each other is also an excellent way to fuse your energies. Or, read poetry to each other, dance, play, listen to music—work on developing new intimacy skills. Most importantly, use this time to communicate,sharing what you adore about each other. The idea is to help each partner feel loved and cherished.
  • In order to fully focus on each other (rather than on the goal of sex), some lovers experiment with various intimate rituals for several weeks before moving on to the next steps or engaging in intercourse. This is a wonderful way to strengthen the bonds of love and ignite passion.

Harmonize your breathing

  • “The only time we ever think about breathing is when we have trouble doing it, yet conscious breathing can be a powerful aid in sexual growth,” according to sex therapist Marty Klein, Ph.D. of Palo Alto, California. Breathing exercises also quiet the mind and help you focus on each other.
  • Try this exercise: Sit quietly, cross-legged, facing each other. Rest your hands on your knees with your palms facing up. As you gaze into your partner’s eyes, take soft, but deep breaths. Keep your eyes open, gazing beyond the eyes, into the soul. Although this may feel awkward at first, sustained eye contact is essential for building intimacy.
  • Now, pay attention to your breathing. Begin to breathe at the same pace, bringing air slowly in through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Maintain eye contact while you breathe together. Practice this exercise until you can sustain eye contact and harmonized breathing for about 10 minutes. Then, you may move into the next exercise.

Experiment with erotic touch to fully appreciate your partner

  • This most pleasurable practice will help you become better lovers. Although you should continue to maintain eye contact, don’t worry about keeping your breath synchronized. Breath will come back into play later. Guide your partner as you take turns stimulating each other. Describe exactly how you would like to be touched.
  • Share your desires in an encouraging way, making requests in a clear and loving manner. For example, ask your lover to caress your clitoris or penis (or any erogenous zone), encouraging him or her to apply more or less pressure, to stroke in a specific pattern, to use the tongue, etc. Thank your lover and let him or her know with words or sounds that you are enjoying this sensual touch.
  • Once you become comfortable with this process, you may wish to create a “pleasure chest.” Include whatever excites you and your partner—a feather, vibrator, massage oil, blindfold, soft fabric, erotica and loving notes to each other are just a few ideas. As you pleasure each other, don’t be shy about asking for something different. This is your time for appreciation, experimentation and for taking responsibility for your own fulfillment by asking for what you want.
  • From here, you may wish to embark on your own erotic journey. Create amorous adventures together, exploring new and creative ways to awaken each other’s bodies and minds. Then, you will be ready for Tantric lovemaking.

Basic Tantric Sex Techniques

The Tantric tradition emphasizes preparation for lovemaking. Erotic rituals such as those described above focus on exchanging pleasures, awakening the senses and allowing couples to communicate on deep physical and emotional levels.

Moving Toward Sexual Bliss

As you transition into sex, the idea is to maintain a state of sexual ecstasy for as long as possible. Tantric lovemaking is not result-oriented, but rather, timeless and unstructured.

Multiple positions

Vary your positions to explore your duality. Different sex positions add to sexual pleasure and balance male and female energies. When lovers release themselves from gender roles, they are free to engage in deeper, more intimate sex. Men realize their sexual potential through surrender, by being soft and open, gentle and vulnerable. Women, in turn, can direct and initiate. As you experiment with different positions, some male-dominant, some female-dominant, explore your capacity to be strong and gentle, generous and receptive.

Multiple Orgasms for Men

Tantric sex distinguishes between the experiences of orgasm and ejaculation. Although they often happen at the same time, men are capable of having orgasms without ejaculating. Ejaculatory control is what makes it possible for Tantric lovers to capture and extend the magical energy of orgasm. By holding back, men can experience a series of “mini-orgasms.”

Freeing Female Orgasm

It is often said that a woman’s most powerful sex organ lies between her ears. Since desire can be short-circuited by fear, guilt, stress and a host of other distracting thoughts, women often need to concentrate on feeling rather than thinking when making love. Taking breaks to pleasure each other, manually and orally, is a great way to ward off any lingering diversions and to coax one or more orgasms.

Clitoral stimulation

Most women require stimulation of the clitoris and labia (the inner lips surrounding the clitoris) during sex to reach orgasm. Prolonged clitoral touch with a gentle, patient hand is, for many, the key to sexual ecstasy. Use sounds and positive words to guide your lover, showing your partner how to stroke you just so.

The sacred spot

The mythic Grafenberg Spot (G-spot) is referred to in Tantra as the “sacred spot.” This potent and mysterious erogenous zone is located about two to three inches up on the front side of the vaginal channel. When your lover is aroused, slip your ring finger into her vagina allowing your fingertip to brush against the inner wall.

The G-spot is between the size of a pea and a quarter with a slightly rippled texture. For some women, though not for all, gentle stimulation can induce powerful orgasms and even female ejaculate. However, take care not to over-stimulate this sensitive spot.

Tantric Sex — A School of Many Courses

According to Tantric philosophy, lovers who have practiced these ancient techniques can learn to direct sexual energy through the body’s “chakras,” or energy centers. Moving the energy of orgasm through these physical channels is thought to create sensations of ecstasy throughout the body and to enhance health.

There is much to learn about this ancient art. “Tantra is a school of many courses in which there are many levels of study and an unlimited degree of potential for spiritual gain, for sexual delight, and for worldly success,” state Charles and Caroline Muir, authors of “Tantra: The Art of Conscious Loving.” Although they caution that Tantra does not promise instant results, for couples who wish to enrich their relationship, these practices “can release a particular kind of energy that can bring about harmony…and increase sexual pleasure and intimacy.”

Tantric Sex Positions

The flower in bloom

Your woman draws up both her knees until they nestle the curves of her breasts; her feet find your armpits. She cups and lifts her buttocks with her palms, spreads her thighs and places her heels next to her hips, while you caress her breasts.

The jewel case

Your legs should lie along hers, joining them from toes to thighs. Your woman can remain below you, or you can lie side by side, in which case she should always be on your left.

To add a twist to the element, your thighs are interlaced and squeeze each other in a pulsating rhythm. This is called “The Squeeze”.

The rustic

Let her to lie on her back with both her thighs pressed tightly together and make love to her, keeping your thighs outside hers. Because the vagina ends up embracing and engulfing the penis in its entirety, it becomes quite enjoyable.

Striking

Your woman is in a sitting position with raised thighs, and her feet should be placed on either side of your waist; when you penetrate her, push your entire penis forcefully in and out of her.

The cat

Let your woman lie on her stomach while you grab hold of her ankles in your right hand, lift them high up and make love, all the while rubbing her face, neck and between her chest with your other hand.

The tripod

While standing against or near a wall, hold up one of her knees firmly in one hand and make love to her; but leave her hands free to explore and caress your body.

The buffet

While she’s lying on the edge of a flat, sturdy surface, withdraw your penis completely from her vaginal area, and then penetrate her wholly in one shot. Do this continuously until she reaches orgasm (chances are this shouldn’t take too long).

Sources: Tantra.com, Discovery Health, Ask men

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