Swinging, sometimes referred to as the swinging lifestyle, is “non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple.” The phenomenon (or at least its wider discussion and practice) may be seen as part of the sexual revolution of recent decades, which occurred after the upsurge in sexual activity made possible by the prevalence of saber sex practices during the same period. Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term has been criticized as androcentric and inaccurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part.
A swinging lifestyle allows you to be open and without fear about yourself and experience the most delightful feeling within you. Swinging provides both men and women to participate as a couple and experience sex with others like they never have before.

The Swinger’s Lifestyle

A swinger’s lifestyle is free from a world of frustration and lost loves. The swinger’s lifestyle simply gives and receives pleasure. There are a few important things to remember if you are to enter a swinger lifestyle:

  1. No one should swing unless they really want to.
  2. No one should ever go into a swinging lifestyle if they are at all uncertain of their own wishes or of the strength of their emotional relationship with their partner

Swinger’s lifestyle is based upon communication more than any other factors. Couples involved in swinger’s lifestyle should have the ability to talk openly about their feelings with one another. Learning to do this must precede any decision or discussion of entering the lifestyle.
There are 3 common types of swinger’s lifestyles:

  • Soft swinging
  • Closed swinging
  • Open swinging

The beginning of swinging

Swinging began in the early 1950’s in the wealthier suburbs of America . During that time the only ways to meet other swingers was through personal ads in the newspapers.
It wasn’t until the 1960’s in Berkeley, California that the first organization, “Sexual Freedom League”, for swingers was opened. Ultimately, an umbrella organization called North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) was formed to give encourage accurate information about swinging lifestyles all across America
Today individuals and couples who are interested in the swinging lifestyle can go to internet, clubs, or organization that specializes in this type of sexual expression.

A few Do’s and Don’t:

  1. NO means absolutely NO.
  2. Pushy People are a big turn off.
  3. If single men out number the crowd BIG turn off.
  4. Never assume anything, always ask Treat others with respect, meaning be polite.
  5. Never attempt to break up a marriage.
  6. Always keep dates unless you give ample notice of changing circumstances.
  7. Always keep the first meeting on a “no strings attached” basis, but be prepared to swing if it is mutually agreeable or to give an honest answer if something doesn’t click.
  8. Never, under any circumstances exert pressure on a partner to swing.
  9. Restrict discussions of swinging to known swingers and interested persons seeking information.
  10. Protect the anonymity of other swingers by refraining from unauthorized “name dropping.”
  11. Always maintain the highest standards of personal cleanliness and appearance.
  12. Do not engage in any unlawful activity that would discredit swingers as a group.
  13. Be friendly and warm with your swing partners, but understand that there is a type of emotional involvement, which is properly reserved for a spouse or “primary significant other.”
  14. Always show respect for the personal attitudes, feelings and “hang-ups” of other swingers.

The Internet factor

Swingers communities all around the world are being swamped with new members everyday, due to the fact this way of life is slowly becoming accepted by the broader community. Why has this happened all of a sudden?
The INTERNET, has enabled a lot of swinger communities to communicate to a huge audience all around the world. One of the biggest online communities that you can probably guess the name of, has recently become the eighth most visited site on the internet, that’s more than Google!

Why hasn’t HIV become a large issue in the swinging community?

For a start, the lack of intravenous drugs in the lifestyle. Intravenous drugs are well known to be a primary way in spreading HIV, this is because they are generally looked down on by the swinger community. This most likely stems from the social standing of the people who are in the lifestyle, normally they are married, hold a professional job, perhaps have children; they are every thing that does not define a typical hard drug user, one which would share a needle. Another reason is the amount of bisexual males, due to social reasons; bisexual males are not as welcomed in the lifestyle as bi sexual females are. It is possible if female swingers expressed an interest in for male-make contact, that the amount of male bisexuality would increase, but at the moment, they make up a low percentage. Statistically, bisexual and gay males have carried an extremely high risk of HIV, so this would account for the avoidance of the disease in the lifestyle.
Honest sexual history: when couples use swinging in stable relationships it can prevent lying, people that fear the HIV and AIDS situation have been known to downplay there sexual hasty and risk groups. Because swinging is an open style relationship that doesn’t require the need to lie, a persons full sexual history can be known, thus reduces the risk of disease.

Not all couples in the lifestyle have non discretional sex; the majority of couples prefer social and sexual relationships with other couples, they see swinging as a social behaviour, sex is just part of it.

Couples may insist on getting to know people socially before going onto sexual activity, have regular couples they see, or maintain the lifestyle with people who’s STD status and is common knowledge. Not all couples have unprotected sex, according to a recent study, 62% of swingers began practicing safer sex after it came clear that HIV was spreading through un-protected sex.

10% of the swinging population attend functions solely to socialise, other may prefer to “soft swap”, this is changing partners for heavy petting, they return to the partners for actual intercourse. Some lifestyle couples have a fluid-monogamous relationship, which is neither of the couple share to share body fluids with any one else apart from each other.

Which ever combination of the reasons above, it is clear that the swinging community is doing something right, and hopefully this will carry on for years to come.

Saving a weak marriage

A counselor is the best way to save a weak marriage, not swinging. If you are having insecurities about your relationship, or just aren’t communicating as well, swinging is not a good fix. Swinging is best experienced by a couple that us able to talk to each other and share with each other. And if problems should come up in the swinging process, then the couple must be able to work through them. And weak marriages are usually a sign of not being able to talk through certain issues
Don’t complicate your relationship more. Work things out with each other before you add swinging to the already volatile mix. Swinging can provide just the ‘kick’ that your strong marriage needs, but it will not solve problems that are already present. If you’re able to work through issues as a couple and just want to experience more in the area of sex and fantasy, then swinging could be the answer to your dreams
And there are plenty of places to research swinging. Bookstores so carry books on swinging and your local sex shops can direct you to local connections. Online swinging dating sites and other information sites can also answer any questions that you might have
Start the open and frank discussions now to enjoy swinging in every way that you can. Doing the research together may also lead to some fun on your own.

Sources: Buzzle, Wikipedia, Actual Swingers, Swingerology

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