The first thing to understand about safer sex is that, like any sort of behavior in life, all sexual behavior carries some risk. Here are some examples of how sex can be risky:

  • You could be masturbating in your bed, fall off the bed and break your arm.
  • You are cautious about having sex with a new person, but decide to take the plunge. The sex is awkward, and the next day they break up with you in a really mean way.
  • You have unprotected oral sex with your partner and get a sexually transmitted disease.
  • You have what you think is a one night stand with someone who wants to move in with you the very next day.

There is risk in getting out of bed, in going to work or school, and in engaging in sexual behaviors both by yourself and with others.

So the goal is not to have “risk-free” sex, because it doesn’t exist. The goal is for you to understand the risks you are taking, to choose what risks to take and not to take, and to make these decisions on your own, without too much influence from:

  • Parents
  • Partners
  • Social pressure
  • Drugs or alcohol
  • A host of other external factors

Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?

If you’re having a normal pregnancy, sex is considered safe during all stages of the pregnancy.

So what’s a “normal pregnancy”? It’s one that’s considered low-risk for complications such as miscarriage or pre-term labor. Talk to your doctor, or other pregnancy health care provider if you’re uncertain about whether you fall into this category.

Just because sex is safe during pregnancy doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily want to have it! Many expectant mothers find that their desire for sex fluctuates during certain stages in the pregnancy. Also, many women find that sex becomes uncomfortable as their bodies get larger.

You and your partner need to keep the lines of communication open regarding your sexual relationship. Talk about other ways to satisfy your need for intimacy, such as kissing, caressing, and holding each other. You also may need to experiment with other positions for sex to find those that are the most comfortable.

Many women find that they lose their desire and motivation for sex late in the pregnancy - not only because of their size but also because they’re preoccupied with the impending delivery and the excitement of becoming a new parent.

Will sex feel different during pregnant ?

Many women report that sex feels different during pregnancy. Some find it more pleasurable, at least at times. Others may generally find it less so, for part or all of the pregnancy.

Increased blood flow to the pelvic area can cause engorgement of the genitals. The heightened sensation that results may add to your pleasure during sex. You may have more vaginal discharge or moistness, which could also be a plus.

On the other hand, you may not like how these changes feel and may find that genital engorgement gives you an uncomfortable feeling of fullness. You may also have abdominal cramps during or immediately after intercourse.

Your breasts may feel tingly, tender, and unusually sensitive to touch, particularly in the first trimester. The tenderness generally subsides, but your breasts may remain more sensitive. Some women will find this heightened sensitivity to be a turn-on, while others won’t (and may even prefer that their breasts not be touched at all).

Let your partner know if anything feels uncomfortable, even if it’s something you’re used to doing all the time. If you find you’re feeling turned on but not enjoying intercourse, consider other erotic activities, such as mutual pleasuring, oral sex, or self-stimulation. Experiment and make adjustments as a couple to make sex relaxing and pleasurable for both of you.

If you don’t feel like having sex or your caregiver has advised you not to, you can still hug, kiss, and caress each other.

Sex positions during pregnancy

First, we tend to still view pregnancy as a medical condition, and pregnant women as extremely fragile. While there may be health issues and complications with the pregnancy that make certain kinds of sex difficult, for the most part there is no need to treat sex during pregnancy with anything other than common sense, and no reason to treat a healthy pregnant woman as if she were weak or ill.

Second, we still tend to think about sex as if there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. In this case many of us have this idea that there is one right (or safe) way to have sex during pregnancy. This is not true. There are infinite safe ways to have sex during pregnancy, depending on what kind of sex you want to have. Another problem with this line of thinking is that it is very rigid (no pun intended). Great sex requires a flexibility of thought, and a willingness to try new things when the old ones aren’t working anymore.

As a general rule, a good sex position for pregnant sex is one where:

  • both partners are physically comfortable
  • the position allows for the kind of sex and physical contact you want to have
  • both partners avoid putting pressure on the uterus, or a partner’s full weight on a pregnant belly.

Experts say that women should avoid lying on their back or right side for long periods of time after four months into the pregnancy.

Beyond this, figuring out pregnancy sex positions requires some creativity, a sense of humor, and often lots of pillows. It may also mean abandoning penetration if it isn’t working, and finding other ways to please each other and please yourself.

Sources: Sexuality About, Baby center

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